1 00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:07,754 Every year, one lucky school gets a new playground 2 00:00:07,758 --> 00:00:09,297 built by the Philadelphia Eagles, 3 00:00:09,301 --> 00:00:11,841 so I reached out and they had already picked their school. 4 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,177 I told them, "Fine, I'll reach out to the 76ers." 5 00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:15,803 And I didn't get a response back, 6 00:00:15,807 --> 00:00:19,224 so I did an Instagram call to action in the tone of a threatening plea 7 00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:21,980 to sort of pressure them socially, and it worked. 8 00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:32,612 -What's going on here? -The Sixers are building us a playground. 9 00:00:32,616 --> 00:00:35,448 As in six guys, or the Philadelphia 76ers? 10 00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:37,575 Oh. Don't be rude, Greg. 11 00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:40,828 They said there's some deep bench players, which is why we don't recognize 'em. 12 00:00:40,832 --> 00:00:43,540 -Uh-huh. And this is free? -Yes. 13 00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:46,459 Well, actually, um, the way it works is we pay for it up front 14 00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:49,671 and then they... they're going to reimburse us, uh, when it's finished. 15 00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:51,134 It's a very interesting concept. 16 00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:55,677 Sorry, who are you guys? 17 00:00:55,681 --> 00:00:58,680 {\an8}Hey, man. Be cool. I'm Dean Wade. 18 00:00:58,684 --> 00:01:01,683 {\an8}Nope, he's white. And what position could you possibly play? 19 00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:03,188 {\an8}A point guard. 20 00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:06,024 {\an8}It's possible. You've seen Jalen Brunson. 21 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:13,861 This looks kinda bad. 22 00:01:13,865 --> 00:01:16,114 Maybe they're only efficient at basketball. 23 00:01:16,118 --> 00:01:18,161 Maybe. Let's find out. 24 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,080 Dean, check up. 25 00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:25,502 Shut it down. 26 00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:28,793 The school year just started and I'm already getting scammed. 27 00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:30,549 All right, guys, get outta here! 28 00:01:35,846 --> 00:01:37,389 Yo, what's up? 29 00:01:37,973 --> 00:01:41,723 I'm Tyrese Maxey. This is VJ. This is our new guy Jaylen. 30 00:01:41,727 --> 00:01:43,182 We saw your Instagram post. 31 00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:45,393 -Very effective. -More like threatening. 32 00:01:45,397 --> 00:01:47,645 Hey, man, sorry we late, but we're here now. 33 00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:49,439 Yeah, all right. Well, if you're the Sixers, 34 00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:50,690 where's LeBron James? 35 00:01:50,694 --> 00:01:52,191 This is gonna sound like a lie, 36 00:01:52,195 --> 00:01:54,569 but he's actually running up the Rocky Steps right now. 37 00:01:54,573 --> 00:01:56,446 He loves that movie. 38 00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:59,157 Yeah, right. Get the hell out of here, you tall jerks. 39 00:01:59,161 --> 00:02:00,996 Man, this one crazy as hell. 40 00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:06,125 Really gotta start watching men's sports. 41 00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:21,387 Thank you. Ooh! 42 00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:24,018 Damn, it's hotter in here than it is outside. 43 00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:27,060 {\an8}I hope the gym isn't boiling during the development meeting. 44 00:02:27,064 --> 00:02:30,146 {\an8}You know it will be. I just hope the meeting goes fast. 45 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,814 {\an8}I have a classroom to build. 46 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:34,359 {\an8}This year I am theming my classroom. 47 00:02:34,363 --> 00:02:35,526 {\an8}So teachers on TikTok, 48 00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:37,612 {\an8}they're completely transforming their rooms. 49 00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:41,491 {\an8}I've seen magic themes, space themes... But me? 50 00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:42,829 {\an8}Get your raincoat, baby. 51 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,500 {\an8}'Cause welcome to the jungle... 52 00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:48,960 {\an8}themed classroom. 53 00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:50,541 {\an8}I'm this way. 54 00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:55,046 {\an8}Oh, yeah, that's right, Mr. Assistant Principal. 55 00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:56,635 {\an8}I'm so proud of you. 56 00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:59,300 {\an8}Oh, oh, oh. Uh... 57 00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:01,177 {\an8}-You got... You got it? You all right? -Yeah, I got it. 58 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,933 {\an8}-It's good. You got... Go ahead. -Okay. 59 00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:05,932 So last year I got bumped up to assistant principal 60 00:03:05,936 --> 00:03:09,018 after Abbott was saved at the teachers' conference in Miami. 61 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,561 So I've been preparing all summer. 62 00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:12,188 I took some continuing ed courses, 63 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:15,233 developed a rapport with Interim Superintendent Collins. 64 00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:16,651 I even hired my own replacement, 65 00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:19,570 so the first graders will be in excellent hands. 66 00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:21,493 Janine says I'm flourishing. 67 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:25,247 I don't know about all that, but you know... 68 00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:27,328 {\an8}Blazay-blah. 69 00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:29,789 {\an8}Ah! We have two new teachers this year. 70 00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:33,459 {\an8}Mr. Eddie's replacement will be here on the first day of school, 71 00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:36,587 {\an8}and second grade teacher Elsa Hardaway will be joining us 72 00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:38,714 {\an8}from newly shut-down Bates Academy. 73 00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:42,427 {\an8}-Hey, what room is she taking? -The first floor classroom, your old room. 74 00:03:42,431 --> 00:03:44,303 {\an8}It won't be a swing space anymore, people. 75 00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:47,765 {\an8}Oh, crap. I wanna get my old room back. 76 00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:50,476 {\an8}My ankles and those stairs go together like oil and vinegar. 77 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,562 {\an8}Good for a side salad, but not the main course, 78 00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:53,938 {\an8}-you know what I mean? -Uh-huh. 79 00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:56,107 Next, we have... 80 00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:58,818 Oh! What the hell happened to you? 81 00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:01,070 -Barb! -I'm fine. I-I'm fine. 82 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,948 Barb, your phone is cracked and your... your hair... 83 00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:06,784 Hate to interrupt you, Barb, but the Neighborhoods app says, 84 00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:08,911 {\an8}"Black woman in purple sweater collided with a car 85 00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:10,413 {\an8}in front of Abbott Elementary." 86 00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:13,082 {\an8}-Melissa, you okay? -Barb, you got hit by a car? 87 00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:15,126 {\an8}Are you okay? Do we need to get you to the hospital? 88 00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:16,377 {\an8}-Yeah. -No, no, I'm fine. 89 00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:19,672 {\an8}While it is true that I was mowed down by a motor vehicle, 90 00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:23,259 {\an8}the good Lord protected me from serious bodily harm. 91 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:26,349 {\an8}I mean, could an injured person do this? 92 00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:33,982 Oh, yes, a car and I made unplanned contact this morning. 93 00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:37,565 Now, normally there are two sides to every story, 94 00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:40,943 but in this case there are not, so drop it. 95 00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:43,404 Okay, wait, wait... 96 00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:45,281 -Did you exchange information? -How did this happen? 97 00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,366 -Do we need to call the police? -None of that matters. 98 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:49,122 What really matters is... 99 00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:52,622 none of this would have happened 100 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:55,833 if-if we had that crossing guard back on the corner. 101 00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:57,960 Yeah, what happened to that crossing guard, by the way? 102 00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:00,630 Same as all the rest of 'em. Crossed to the other side. 103 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:04,842 Barbara, as assistant principal, I think that crossing guard is an excellent idea 104 00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:06,552 and our office will get right on it. 105 00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:09,806 Uh, no, it will not. Somebody else can do it. 106 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:13,059 51st District Board of School Commissioners liaison representative 107 00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:14,147 at your service. 108 00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:16,729 Barbara, I'm excited to work with you on this. 109 00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:20,942 Oh, okay, so if we're all done being run over by cars, 110 00:05:20,946 --> 00:05:22,652 remember to finish your room tonight. 111 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:25,530 I know some of you use the first day so that the kids will do it for you, 112 00:05:25,534 --> 00:05:29,575 but the district's been getting on us about child labor practices again, 113 00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:31,035 so stay as long as you need. 114 00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:33,955 Uh, nope, we get paid for an eight-hour development day. 115 00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:36,916 One minute past that, and the union will demand overtime. 116 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,417 What? 117 00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:42,255 -I am a union representative now. -Ah! 118 00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:43,714 This sucks. 119 00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:45,178 Yeah, and you can't curse at us. 120 00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:49,140 -I hate unions. -Okay, great meeting, everybody. 121 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:52,932 {\an8}I was really pissed after what the district pulled in Miami, 122 00:05:52,936 --> 00:05:55,935 {\an8}and then I remembered the Teachers Union. 123 00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:59,063 {\an8}So I went to a few meetings, quickly became a rep. 124 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:00,235 {\an8}Call me Jimmy Hoffa. 125 00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:03,526 Hey. So I've been thinking about this crossing guard situation. 126 00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:04,990 Well, stop. 127 00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:07,530 That's a little traffic humor for your obsessed ass. 128 00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:08,698 Don't sweat the small stuff. 129 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:11,701 Hey, Ava, my classroom that you gave to Ms. Hardaway, 130 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,202 I'd like that to be mine again now. 131 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:16,205 Perfect example. Watch this, Gregory. 132 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,165 Melissa, handle it on your own. 133 00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:19,292 Great. 134 00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:22,879 No... I'm genuinely concerned what "handle it on your own" means to that woman. 135 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,005 We're administrators. 136 00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:26,716 Our energy is best spent focusing on the bigger picture, 137 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,175 like cooling this place down. 138 00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:30,056 I'm working on getting portable AC units. 139 00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:32,972 Okay, well, I would love to help with that. 140 00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:34,769 Perfect, because I'll need you. 141 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:39,357 To get my coffee, so I have the energy to put a bow on Project Sweeney Todd. 142 00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:41,776 What? 143 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:45,401 Later today, Superintendent Collins's barbershop will be swatted, 144 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,403 forcing him to miss his weekly shape and shave, 145 00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:49,030 something he hasn't done in decades. 146 00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:51,699 And that's when he'll notice a flyer for another shop. 147 00:06:51,703 --> 00:06:54,785 One owned by my father, who so desperately wants to get back in my life. 148 00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:57,788 And then, when the superintendent is leaned back over the bowl 149 00:06:57,792 --> 00:07:01,546 with a razor to his neck, I'll appear and ask for the ACs. 150 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:04,924 Or we could just call him. 151 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:06,797 Oh. 152 00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:09,012 You think you could do this job better than me, huh? 153 00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:12,678 Somebody decides to propose to Strawberry Shortcake's Black friend, 154 00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:16,057 -and now he thinks he can do everything. -Hey, hey! Shh! Who... 155 00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:18,225 How the hell did you know I was proposing to Janine? 156 00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:20,686 Gregory, did you think when you were talking to O'Shon 157 00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:23,105 you were talking to your man? 'Cause he's not. 158 00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,527 He's my man. 159 00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:28,198 And we don't keep secrets. Secrets keep us. 160 00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:33,449 Okay, I have mapped out the crosswalk in question 161 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,576 where the crime of the century took place. 162 00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:39,205 Let's go over the accident and figure out where to place our new crossing guard. 163 00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:42,375 Okay. Well, the driver was making a right-hand turn 164 00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:46,132 without looking where he was going, and, uh, mowed me down. 165 00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:48,631 Oh! 166 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:51,175 Hey, you must be the new second grade teacher. 167 00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:53,844 I'm Melissa Schemmenti and you must be Elsa? 168 00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:55,262 It's Ms. Hardaway. 169 00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:58,269 Uh, Ms. Hardaway, I got a little proposition for you: 170 00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:01,060 your classroom for mine. 171 00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:04,730 {\an8}'Cause, trust me, you're gonna want to be on a higher floor 172 00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:07,024 {\an8}when we get the next flood at Abbott. 173 00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:09,860 Thank you for that offer, but no, thank you. 174 00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:12,742 I'm not gonna be taking a bunch of second graders upstairs. 175 00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:17,702 Oh. Yeah, okay, you're not aware of the hierarchy around here. 176 00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:19,708 See, I'm the union rep. 177 00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:23,962 I'm not going anywhere. 178 00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:27,006 Oh, yeah, she's a tough cookie. 179 00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:30,715 But I'm a cold glass of milk. 180 00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:33,926 Ugh, I've been on hold for the district for an hour. 181 00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:35,889 Do you have any contacts that... 182 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:38,681 -Are those misters? -Yep. 183 00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:40,891 Took me all morning to hook 'em up to the water line. 184 00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:41,976 How good is that? 185 00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:43,811 You didn't tell me you were gonna have misters, 186 00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:45,980 and these vines are covering the smoke alarms. 187 00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:48,399 -Is that a fire pit? -Yeah. 188 00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:50,484 I'm not gonna light it. During the day. 189 00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:52,445 I was able to look the other way as a teacher, 190 00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:54,947 but as assistant principal, I legally can't. 191 00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:56,323 You've got to take this stuff out of here. 192 00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:57,412 {\an8}Uh... 193 00:08:58,121 --> 00:08:59,827 {\an8}Come on, give me special treatment. 194 00:08:59,831 --> 00:09:01,078 No. 195 00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:03,250 They're not taking your call, are they? 196 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,542 Maybe I'll just go down to the district instead. 197 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:09,503 -They can't put me on hold in person. -Well, I'm coming with you. 198 00:09:09,507 --> 00:09:11,714 I don't need you messing up my Sweeney plan. 199 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,632 A fire pit? S'mores when we get back? 200 00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:15,013 -Yes. -No. 201 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,183 Ooh! 202 00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:25,061 Janine, what in the world are you doing? 203 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:28,272 Well, I am giving my classroom the ultimate makeover. 204 00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:29,778 All the cool teachers are doing it. 205 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,443 Barb, you haven't seen this on your phone? 206 00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:36,155 I have not, but have you heard this song on your phone? 207 00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:39,450 ♪ I am a strong, Black Incredible, sensational woman ♪ 208 00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:41,827 Barb... Barb, Barb, Barb. 209 00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:43,079 That song is AI. 210 00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:46,669 Yes, it is. Absolutely incredible. 211 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,210 Anyway, decorating a room should be easy. 212 00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:51,462 I just get my Lakeshore rug and call it a day. 213 00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:53,839 Yeah, I mean, this ain't TikTok. 214 00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:57,218 We're just Philly public school teachers trying to get through the day. 215 00:09:57,222 --> 00:10:00,475 This all feels just a little unnecessary. No? 216 00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:02,348 {\an8}Can I help you two? 217 00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:05,392 {\an8}I'm just down here trying to get my classroom back from Ms. Hardaway, 218 00:10:05,396 --> 00:10:08,979 {\an8}who's gonna learn the Hardaway not to mess with me. 219 00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:11,820 {\an8}Barb, Barb, uh, we have a volunteer ready to interview. 220 00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:13,651 {\an8}Huh! Looks good. 221 00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:15,277 {\an8}You're gonna have to remove the dinosaurs. 222 00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:17,404 {\an8}It's historically inaccurate. Doesn't make any sense. 223 00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:18,864 {\an8}It's gonna mess them up before they get to me. 224 00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:19,953 {\an8}Barbara, uh, shall we? 225 00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:24,749 Hey, girl, how's your mom? 226 00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:27,042 Okay, Glasses? 227 00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:30,380 Now, why didn't I see you in church last week? 228 00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:33,090 Just kidding, 'cause I didn't go. 229 00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:35,589 No one here likes you. 230 00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:38,221 Ava, I'm gonna have to write you up. 231 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:42,016 For killing it in that dress. You look great. 232 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:43,722 Oh. 233 00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:45,808 Still busy slobbing down your coworkers? 234 00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:47,977 Hmm. He's assistant principal now. 235 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,353 Oh, so not coworkers. 236 00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:51,105 That's a power imbalance, right? 237 00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:53,528 I'll set an appointment. Da-da-da-da! 238 00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:57,736 Hi, uh, we're here to see Superintendent Collins. 239 00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,113 He's very busy. 240 00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:02,745 Okay, well, we'll just wait then. 241 00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:06,787 See, this is what superintendents do. 242 00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:09,039 Let's go. My dad told me he needs some sharper razors. 243 00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:10,291 I think we might have a chance. 244 00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:12,251 Ugh! You sound like a loser on prom night. 245 00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:15,300 No one's coming to surprise you, Gregory. Take your little suit off. 246 00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:20,843 So, Abdul, where do you see yourself in five years? 247 00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:23,721 Depends. If my cousin and my business idea work out, then I... 248 00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:25,598 Abdul, can you hold a stop sign? 249 00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:28,017 -Of course. -Great. That ought to do it. 250 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,981 Hold on, now, hold on. Um... 251 00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:33,272 -Actually, yeah, that ought to do it. -Mmm. 252 00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:34,648 -Any questions for us? -Yeah. 253 00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:36,400 How much discretion do I have? 254 00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:39,528 Like, should I bust out my good friend Sarah McGlocklan 255 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,780 -if someone drives too fast, or... -Well, that... 256 00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:43,949 -That's very clever, but no, no. -No. 257 00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:45,034 Okay. 258 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:48,704 Can you assure us that if someone were looking down at their phone 259 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,456 while crossing the street, 260 00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:52,712 that they would not get hit by a motorized vehicle? 261 00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:55,794 -Easy. -Down at their phone? 262 00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:57,087 Mm-hmm. 263 00:11:57,091 --> 00:12:00,303 -Abdul, congratulations, you're hired. -Yes! 264 00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:06,768 -Uh, hello. -Hey, how you doing? 265 00:12:07,685 --> 00:12:08,811 What are you doing in here? 266 00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:10,768 {\an8}What are you doing in here? 267 00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:12,440 {\an8}This is my classroom. 268 00:12:13,107 --> 00:12:15,481 {\an8}Uh, Ms. Hardaway, girl, are you okay? 269 00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:18,279 {\an8}You gave me this classroom back, don't you... 270 00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:20,406 {\an8}Listen, I know. 271 00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:24,365 {\an8}Memory lapses are a common side effect of perimenopause. 272 00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:26,617 {\an8}-It's nothing to be ashamed of. -Hey! 273 00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:28,869 {\an8}I didn't give you this classroom. 274 00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:30,496 {\an8}Mm-mmm. 275 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,877 And my memory is pristine. 276 00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:35,417 And my periods are so regular 277 00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:38,549 that my doctor basically begged me to become a surrogate for hire. 278 00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:43,263 So that is my chair. 279 00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:52,730 You're gonna regret this. 280 00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:59,733 {\an8}Extortion doesn't work without a little information. 281 00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:01,447 {\an8}I got nothing on this broad. 282 00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:05,823 Important announcement. Y'all out of ink. Give it up, Gregory. 283 00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,574 There's one way, and one way only, 284 00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:10,331 to get the superintendent's undivided attention. 285 00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:13,497 You know what? I'ma just knock. 286 00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:15,499 Like, it's harder to say no to people in person. 287 00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:18,548 Uh, not true. I say no to everybody all the time, and I enjoy it. 288 00:13:21,092 --> 00:13:22,552 Actually, he's not in there. 289 00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:25,342 Then where is he? 290 00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:28,595 He's at the golf course. I thought you guys would have left by now. 291 00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:30,435 See? 292 00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:33,309 -Well, I guess it's tee time. -Tea time? 293 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,685 Okay, well, Dia has a surgery. 294 00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:36,983 -She says it's elective, but I don't... -Just come on. 295 00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,777 The classroom is coming along. 296 00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:45,779 Um, it's been a lot of work. 297 00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:48,032 Those TikTok teachers really made it look easy. 298 00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:51,744 {\an8}Not everyone gets it, but it's not for the adults. 299 00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:55,084 {\an8}It's for the kids, who will treasure it. 300 00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:58,421 Mmm. 301 00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:03,255 -Sorry. Mrs. Lyons? -Yes, Ms. Teagues. 302 00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:05,466 -Hi, it's so nice to meet you. -Yes. Nice to meet you. 303 00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:08,594 So I brought all the information regarding Georgia's allergy restrictions. 304 00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:12,848 {\an8}Yes. Thank you. Fantastic. I will definitely look these over later. 305 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,353 {\an8}-I promise, um, yeah. -Okay. 306 00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:16,393 Working on the classroom. 307 00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:20,105 -Oh! Yeah, wow, this is so nice. -Thank you. 308 00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:23,567 But just a warning, Georgia is a little Tasmanian devil. 309 00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:25,819 I don't know if all of this will last more than a day. 310 00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:28,405 Kids just yank stuff down. 311 00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:32,034 {\an8}Yeah. It'll be fun, though. 312 00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:34,411 {\an8}Um... It has been a lot of work. 313 00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:36,997 -I'm, like, exhausted. -Oh. Well, don't stress yourself. 314 00:14:37,001 --> 00:14:38,582 I heard you're an excellent teacher, 315 00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:40,546 so you just teaching these kids will be enough. 316 00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:44,213 Oh. 317 00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:45,464 Do you need help? 318 00:14:45,468 --> 00:14:47,091 -No, I got it. Thanks. -Okay. 319 00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:49,430 -I'll see you soon. -Thank you. 320 00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:55,349 Oh, yeah. 321 00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:58,227 -You, hold it. Right. -Yeah. 322 00:14:58,231 --> 00:14:59,357 There you are. 323 00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:01,146 Can we help you? 324 00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:03,690 This morning, that lady cracked my headlight. 325 00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:06,735 You're the maniac motorist? Citizen's arrest! 326 00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:09,780 -Abdul, let's hear Sarah McLachlan sing... -I've been waiting my whole life. 327 00:15:09,784 --> 00:15:12,157 -Whoa, whoa, whoa! -Sir, maybe we can go somewhere 328 00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:14,034 and talk about what happened. 329 00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:15,744 What is there to talk about? 330 00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:18,372 You were watching your phone, not paying attention. 331 00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:20,791 I rolled down my window to get her to pay attention. 332 00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:25,045 What did you do? You kept walking, bashed into my car. 333 00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:27,339 -Oh. Is this true? -Of course not. 334 00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:29,970 Oh, snap, someone uploaded the video on Neighborhoods. 335 00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:33,224 Oh, damn! 336 00:15:34,475 --> 00:15:35,848 Ooh, okay. 337 00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:37,228 I lied. 338 00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:41,061 I just didn't wanna start this year off on a foolish foot, 339 00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:43,234 especially not in front of all the other teachers. 340 00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:47,943 Well, as a man humiliated before his peers on the daily, I understand. 341 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:50,737 -Thank you. -Damn, you smashed into his car! 342 00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:51,826 Oh. I wanna see. 343 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,201 Oh, my God. 344 00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:57,623 Whoa! Oh! 345 00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:02,166 Help, help! Is anybody out there? 346 00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:04,964 -Ah! Oh, Mr. Johnson. -What are you doing? 347 00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:07,754 And why did you knock over the trash can? 348 00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:10,507 I-I'm trying to take down my classroom decor. 349 00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:14,052 -Why? This is incredible. -Yeah, but it's just... 350 00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:17,472 It's just taking a lot of effort, and it's really silly. 351 00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:18,936 Taxes are silly. 352 00:16:19,604 --> 00:16:23,024 This is beautiful. I can feel my mind expanding already. 353 00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:25,105 Thanks. 354 00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:28,404 If I had a classroom like this growing up, I could have probably been president. 355 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:31,740 Or better yet, the highest-paid janitor in the world. 356 00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:35,578 The kids are never gonna forget this. 357 00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:39,999 -Catch you later. -Bye. 358 00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,708 No, wait, wait, Mr. Johnson! 359 00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:47,798 Hold that thought, Judd. Let me just, uh... 360 00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:50,172 Working hard, you silly son of a... 361 00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:52,174 -Ava. -I was gonna say bitch. 362 00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:54,718 We were at your office. I tried to call but couldn't get through. 363 00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:56,553 Your secretary told us that you were here. 364 00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,263 So are you here embezzling or cheating? 365 00:16:58,267 --> 00:16:59,973 It's always one or the other with you suits. 366 00:16:59,977 --> 00:17:02,684 What? No. This is Judd Allen. 367 00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:05,812 He develops vacant properties in Philadelphia. 368 00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:09,858 This is actually a meeting to discuss how to replace two schools that shut down. 369 00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:12,277 Uh... That's cute. 370 00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:13,904 Look, we're sorry for interrupting, 371 00:17:13,908 --> 00:17:16,114 but we just need ten new portable AC units. 372 00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:17,741 The old ones that we had are broken, 373 00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:19,451 and it doesn't seem like an emergency, but... 374 00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:21,703 It is one because it's just way too hot out here. 375 00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:23,789 And we would have gotten them on our own, but it's... 376 00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:26,667 No, no, no, going through the district is definitely the right call. 377 00:17:26,671 --> 00:17:28,377 Way to show initiative, Mr. Eddie. 378 00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:30,170 Now, we'll get that done for you. 379 00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:32,214 Do you mind if I get back to my meeting? 380 00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:36,176 Oh... So you're just gonna give us the ACs because he, what, aksed? 381 00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:38,428 Yeah, it seems like a pretty straightforward request. 382 00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:42,103 Uh... And what if we had held you hostage, would you have said yes then? 383 00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:43,767 Uh... 384 00:17:43,771 --> 00:17:46,232 I wanna say no to that. 385 00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:50,440 Remember to keep your left arm straight on the back swing. 386 00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:52,529 -Thanks. -Any other big things we need to handle? 387 00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:56,154 Oh, my God, my barber just got swatted. 388 00:17:56,158 --> 00:18:00,242 Wait, wait, wait, Ms. Hardaway, wait, wait, wait, wait. 389 00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:02,578 {\an8}Listen, honesty time, full disclosure, 390 00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:05,581 {\an8}I tripped and hurt my ankle real bad like two years ago, 391 00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:07,666 {\an8}and those stairs are killing me. 392 00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:12,129 {\an8}Please, for the love of God, have mercy and let me have my old classroom back. 393 00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:15,720 {\an8}Not my ankle, not my stairs, not my problem. 394 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,389 {\an8}Were you looking at Morton? 395 00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:24,975 {\an8}Morton? Is that his name? 396 00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:26,522 {\an8}You like Morton? 397 00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:30,647 {\an8}He's... very handsome. 398 00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:32,190 {\an8} What in... 399 00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:34,192 {\an8}Yeah. 400 00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:35,819 {\an8}-Oh, yeah, I get it. -Mm-hmm. 401 00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:37,029 {\an8}You know what? 402 00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:42,496 {\an8}His classroom is right across from mine upstairs, and he walks by all the time. 403 00:18:52,089 --> 00:18:54,463 -Whoo! -We have air. 404 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:56,882 -Yes! -Once we get the hose and everything... 405 00:18:56,886 --> 00:18:58,759 Yeah. You did it. Take a bow, take a bow. 406 00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:00,973 Is Gregory really better at this than I am? 407 00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:03,805 Damn. 408 00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:06,350 Is it too late for me to join the WNBA? 409 00:19:06,354 --> 00:19:09,102 I don't hoop, but my tunnel fits would break the Internet. 410 00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:11,396 Hey, don't... don't look at the other cars. Look at me. 411 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:12,981 I'll tell you when to go. 412 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,858 All right, now go. 413 00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:16,906 One thing I'ma do is protect these kids! 414 00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:19,241 Hey, stop, stop. 415 00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:22,366 You stop when you see this strong, Black, incredible, 416 00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:24,159 sensational woman on her phone! 417 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,370 How you doing, Mrs. Howard? I like that color on you. 418 00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:28,664 -Thank you. -All right. Kids, watch me. 419 00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:32,793 Barbara, didn't you learn anything? For Pete's sake, at least look up. 420 00:19:32,797 --> 00:19:35,549 Don't have to. Crossing guard. 421 00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:43,387 Well, where's that new teacher you hired? 422 00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:44,471 I don't know. 423 00:19:44,475 --> 00:19:46,139 He said he would have to miss Development Day, 424 00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:47,599 but that he'd be here today. He... 425 00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:48,688 He emailed me. 426 00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:50,481 Let me see that. 427 00:19:55,778 --> 00:19:57,150 What? 428 00:19:57,154 --> 00:19:59,111 That's ChatGPT. 429 00:19:59,115 --> 00:20:01,613 No, no, this is a real person. 430 00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:04,491 I interviewed them on Zoom, and I recorded the interview for safety. 431 00:20:04,495 --> 00:20:05,705 Yeah, see? 432 00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:08,578 Well, first of all, look at that head shape. 433 00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:10,080 Who got a head shape like that? 434 00:20:10,084 --> 00:20:11,919 Um... Whatever. 435 00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:15,293 The plant just moved! Look at that warped background. 436 00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:18,426 Look how he's pausing so the computer can figure out what you said. 437 00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:21,010 Ugh! You interviewed a deepfake! 438 00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:24,886 What would anybody gain by doing this? 439 00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:28,936 Welcome to 2026, Gregory. You're old, dumb and swagless. 440 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:33,645 O-Okay, um, I'll just teach the class until we get somebody else. 441 00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:36,943 Perfect. Have a great first day, assistant principal. 442 00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:42,571 They said I was washed, that my reign was over, 443 00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:45,490 that I'll never make it back to the top of the charts, but guess what? 444 00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:47,117 Abbott don't Elementary without me. 445 00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:48,827 It's gonna be the best year yet. 446 00:20:48,831 --> 00:20:50,829 Welcome in, class. 447 00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:54,040 Wow, it's a jungle in here. 448 00:20:54,044 --> 00:20:55,250 It is. 449 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,169 This is the coolest thing ever. 450 00:20:57,173 --> 00:20:58,336 Oh, wow. 451 00:20:58,340 --> 00:21:00,009 {\an8}Yes. Go ahead, sorry. 452 00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:02,841 {\an8}It's good. 453 00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:05,218 {\an8}All right, guys, do me a favor, find a seat. 454 00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:08,558 {\an8}Welcome to second grade. How are we doing? 455 00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:15,024 {\an8}It's okay. 456 00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:18,732 {\an8}Anything can happen in the jungle, right, guys? 457 00:21:18,736 --> 00:21:23,199 {\an8}Go ahead, find a friend, get a seat. Let's get started.